Whether you’re a patient or a caregiver, consider a few of these stress-relief techniques:

1. Tend to your own physical needs. Beyond eating and sleeping regularly, caregivers must address their own health needs; some people get so caught up helping the cancer patient that they ignore their own diabetes or other health concerns. Even Barbara, who found it so hard to leave Lindsey, left the hospital for the apartment of a nearby relative to shower and eat.

2. Connect with friends. Isolation can increase stress, so get out with friends once in a while. Some people have found that social media – blogging and tweeting – can really make a difference. Social media can also spread the latest news so the caregiver is not bombarded with emails and phone calls.

3. Ask for assistance. No one person can do everything and it is important to recognize this as a fact of life, not a weakness. Gilda’s Club, for instance, offers a program where family and friends together create a plan to assist with the practical demands of living with cancer.

4. Seek emotional help through counselors and support groups; online support groups are a relatively new approach and many people find them helpful. Barbara, for instance, is now gaining a lot of perspective and peace from seeing a therapist weekly.

5. Find time to relax, whether that means fitting in an afternoon of golf or a movie, or even just giving yourself permission to go for a walk or hang out at home. Try to focus on the immediate moment, not second-guessing the past or trying to predict the future.

6. Get organized. Lists and calendars can help prioritize activities and keep you on track. Knowing what needs to get done and when can prevent last-minute rushes.

7. Set limits. Caregivers cannot do everything. By enlisting the help of others or even just saying ‘no’ occasionally, caregivers can take care of themselves – and thereby enable themselves to be more useful to the patient.

8. Regain control. Think through ways to make small, incremental changes to improve the quality of life for you and the cancer patient. You may not be able to regain control over everything, but targeting little improvements will help you feel less overwhelmed. Figuring out when you began to feel overwhelmed may offer clues.

9. Stay positive. Easier said than done, but it is important to focus on the good prognosis, the accomplishments of combining caregiving with an already-busy life, and the rewards of taking care of someone you love.